'Yes, my Lord.'

This is a story about how I started calling Guru “my Lord.”

I was living in California, and I was reading the Srimad Bhagavatam. The last part of the Bhagavatam, the last third of the book, is all about Lord Krishna.

The gopis moved me because they had so much devotion to Lord Krishna. They have surrendered everything to him, their mind and their life, and they called him their Lord.

So, on this particular day, I was reading the Bhagavatam, and a wish came from my heart that said, Guru, “I want to belong only to you, only to you.”

The next week, when Guru called the San Francisco Centre, when I picked up the phone and I said, “This is Kamalakanta,” he said, “My Kamalakanta, my Kamalakanta, my Kamalakanta.”

Then when I came to New York the next time and we were playing tennis, he was in his chair and he said something to me. When I responded to him, I said, “Yes, my Lord.”

Guru raised his voice and he said, “He is saying it from the central part of his being. He is being sincere.”

One more thing. In the book The Wings of Joy, the second or third chapter, Guru talks about the fact that the disciple must establish an intimate relationship with the Master. If you feel that the Master is only like a schoolteacher, then he might be displeased with you at some point and say, “Okay, you failed. You go out of the school.” You know, bye bye.

But Guru said that if you have established an intimate relationship with the Master, he can never let you go. You can feel that he is your brother or your lover or your father or your friend, your best friend, but some kind of intimate relationship has to be established.

I meditated on it, and I decided that the one I felt most comfortable with was the father-son relationship. So, I inwardly said to Guru at that moment, “Guru, you are my father. I give you complete authority over my life. You can say anything you want about me.”

Two weeks later, he was visiting somebody, and he said, “Kamalakanta, I can say anything I want about him. He is my child.”

My Lord, my dear Lord, my sweet Lord,
My Lord Divine, my Lord Supreme,
How can I, even for a single day,
Love You in Your own Way,
Offer You my devotion in Your own Way
And
Surrender my entire earth-existence to You
In Your own Way?

"My sleeplessly and breathlessly
Dream-blossoming child,
It is not an impossible task.
It is not even a difficult task.
It is an unbelievably easy task.
My child, from today on,
Do not try to hide from Me
And live in your darkness-mind-cave-
Absurd, My child, absurd!
The entire creation, the entire universe,
Is created by Me.
I am the body
And
I am the Spirit of the universe.
My child, I am most affectionately,
Most blessingfully inviting you
To come and live with Me
In My Heart-Nest.
Come, My child, come!
Come play with Me and sing with Me.
Lo, My child,
Perfect is your love for Me,
Perfect is your devotion to Me,
Perfect is your surrender to Me.
Your name is now perfect perfection-sky,
And
My Name is perfect Satisfaction-Sun.
My child, to make the Real in you happy,
Today, tomorrow and forever and forever
I must love you in My divine Way,
The only Way.
My child, My child, My child!"

Sri Chinmoy 1

• 1. My sweet Father-Lord, where are you?, Agni Press, 1999